Day 4

Even though ESPN fucked up the Men's Downhill results for me as I turned it there for 1 second, which was obviously long enough to hear them say "Bode Miller wins Bronze." So I emailed ESPN the ending of "Thelma and Louise". Take that you bastards.

The blue paint on the snow was very cool to show viewers and competitors alike the course but what the hell happened to the amazing graphic of showing the superimposed images of each skiers run down the mountain as if they were done simultaneously? NBC is getting cheap, lazy and sloppy. Who doesn't love that effect? Dick Ebersol apparently.

What happened to the greatest Skier in USA history Bode Miller? The rogue athlete that allegedly got drunk before his Olympic runs in Torino? This wasn't him... and probably the reason he won a medal. He was fast, in control and clean on the run which was mind boggling in itself but not near as shocking as his post race interview where he was humble, grounded and well spoken. Where the hell are we going to get our drama and theatrics from if we don't get it from old reliable Bode Miller? What's next... Kevin Smith going to apologize to Southwest Airlines because he IS fat?

Thanks, Mary Curillo, for the Polar Bears piece. Really. How else would I have found the time to go #2?

The Snowboarding Cross or any event on a board is awesome but it just doesn't feel Olympics to me. I see it and it's X-Games to me. What's next BMX tricks? I'll watch it but that don't make it feel Olympics. It also doesn't help that the commentators are boring and sound just like every X-Games event and not like the Olympics.

The Men's Cross was actually boring following the Men's Downhill but fucking spectacular after that stupid Polar Bear segment.

You know, I really thought I hated Chris Collinsworth but everytime NBC comes back from one of their billions of commercial breaks and the first thing I see is Bob Costas sitting there with Collinsworth my face lights up like joint at a Bob Marley concert. I can't explain it but I know I like it even though I shouldn't... like Animated porn.

They showed Picabo Street... the aging process treated her like a baby treats a diaper.

*Interesting fact... every 1/100 of a second equals 10 inches. If you were to lost a race by .02 seconds you would have only lost by 20 inches... I think.

Pairs Figure Skating... where if you're not gay, you're going through women faster than dark beer goes through me. So remember Fargo, ND "I learned to skate on a frozen pond behind my house" boy? Yeah, well he's dating the woman from the other USA team causing tension between them... really it's not but you know it is. They skated very well actually and his partner was flawless. She makes it look easy, smooth and effortless. Incidentally she's only 16 years old so in 2 years I'd like to be the first to comment on what a great ass she's "going to" have. Don't judge me... if they didn't tell you, you wouldn't know.

The finale of Day 4 was none other than "Oh Canada" being played for the first time ever in 3 Olympic Games on their home soul to very passionate fans that sang along with tears in their eyes. It must have been the greatest feeling in the entire world for the kid (who won Gold in the Men's Moguls) to hear his Countrie's National Anthem played for the first time ever and he is the reason why. He will forever be an Olympic hero, a Canadian icon. That's pretty special stuff and really what the Olympic Games are and should be about. I was happy for him and Canada.

Now the during the song I noticed a few things that I can't ignore:

1) The Medals are atrocious. Sorry, I think they're ugly. They're not even flat or round. More like wavy and roundish. Hideous but at the end of the day it's still a fucking Olympic Gold Medal who cares if they give you a Gold hub cap.

2) I don't think that kid knew the words... he tried like the first sentence, which everyone knows, then sort of panicked and stopped moving his lips at all.

3) The fans in that building more than made up for his lack of singing because they sang their asses off! That building was rocking. Good for you Canada... now can you please put your streetlights vertically like the rest of us?